Showing posts with label maxine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label maxine. Show all posts

Monday, May 17, 2010

MY LIVING WILL

Another Maxine one thanks to Aunty Nona...


Last night, my kids and I were sitting in the living room and I said to them, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'

They got up, unplugged the Computer, and threw out my wine.

They are SO on my shit list ...



Saturday, August 15, 2009

CASH FOR CLUNKERS

Here's another from Aunty Nona (forwarded from Kaleo, I think), and it was just too funny and true not to share. If I tagged you, it's because I know you have a sense of humor that will get a kick out of this one, not because I'm thinking of you at the end (ROFL!).

IF MY BODY WERE A CAR...

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish, and my paint job is getting a little dull. But that's not the worst of it. My headlights are out of focus, and it's especially hard to see things up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it --

Almost every time I sneeze, cough or laugh, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires.

CASH FOR CLUNKERS..........I QUALIFY - How about You?